Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
there was a trapeze. enough said
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Randomize
