she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
Two words: blizzard sex
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
