I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
i will never coherently bang her
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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