I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
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