It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
