what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
