we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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