Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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