My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
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