Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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