Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
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