Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
