wrigley field is MILF paradise
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
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