Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
