You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
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