I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
