come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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