last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
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