OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
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