I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
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