apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
she pinky promised me she was 18
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
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