She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize
