Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
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