I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
