he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Randomize
