I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
I should be sponsored by Trojan
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Randomize
