dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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