There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
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