pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
they're like a gay fantastic four
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
