In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
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