the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Randomize
