using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
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