turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
