you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
