if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize