So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Randomize
