the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Randomize
