I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
Randomize
