If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Randomize
