Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
