Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
You need a sexual gate keeper
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
Randomize
