I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Randomize
