What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Randomize
