I molested 6 butterflies tonight
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Randomize
