Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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