so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
