guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
try to milk me bitch
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
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