And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
I just found puke in my bra..
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
