I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Randomize
