At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize
