you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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