Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
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Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
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