Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
