So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
