I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
