I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize
