she woke up with a sticky ear
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
