I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Randomize