Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Randomize
