just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize