Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
no. you can't hotbox the world.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
This is the high leading the old right now
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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