Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
