Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
