So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Randomize
