your room smells of hookers.
And success
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
Randomize