I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
