Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Randomize
