There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
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