i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Randomize
