i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
