I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
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