you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Randomize