I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
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