brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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