I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Sex in the backyard? Check.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
