oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
