oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize